Myths about Sex and Women

In some ways, sex and women have come a long way. The female orgasm and the idea that women actually like sex are definitely out in the open – at times with a vengeance!

In other ways, we’re still on a par with the Victorians, and not doing much about it.

Sex and Women’s Bodies

The media doesn’t portray women’s bodies as they really are. Even hard-core sex sites and videos don’t give men a realistic idea of what women’s genitals actually look like or about how they work. Pictures in 20-year-old editions of the Encyclopaedia Britannica are still more revealing than the average steamy video!

Now that it’s safe for even the most bland women’s magazines to refer to sex and women’s body parts, fashion dictates that women remove most or all of their pubic hair. Cosmetic surgery designed to reshape or reduce the size of women’s labia and to “tighten” their vaginas is increasingly popular – and that’s outside the sex industry. So after decades of campaigns against horrifying practices that involve cutting girls’ genitals, many women are actually choosing to go under the knife to change how their vaginas look and (at least to men) feel.

Erotic Fiction

Myths about female sexuality abound in popular erotic fiction. Much of it carries on reinforcing the notion that the average woman reaches a screaming orgasm approximately 30 seconds after genital contact is made. Yes, it’s possible. But likely or common? Not!

So why do women tend to go along with this and buy romance or sex novels that perpetrate unrealistic ideas about how their bodies work during sex? Of course, we don’t really want to read a laborious 15-page description of one woman’s route to orgasm in a steamy bestseller – fast and furious is much more entertaining.

Outside fiction, though, women often don’t want to be seen as “high maintenance”. It’s enough if a man appreciates you and wants to have sex with you – even in a long-term relationship, expecting 20 to 40 minutes straight of direct manual stimulation during sex is just asking too much!

The Female Orgasm

In almost all popular media, there’s still little to contradict the idea that women typically reach orgasm through traditional “vagina meets penis” intercourse. In fact, science confirms that the vagina alone isn’t capable of producing orgasm – it just doesn’t contain the nerves that are physically needed for this. When you do come during intercourse, it’s indirect stimulation of the clitoris that’s responsible. According to a 2005 study of 4000 women, up to one in three “seldom or never” achieve orgasm during intercourse. And plenty fake orgasms on a regular basis.

For some of the positions most likely to lead to female orgasm during intercourse, see tips on sex positions for women.

The controversial “discovery” of the now famous G-spot does raise some questions. For more, see G-spot tips for women.

Venus and Mars

Pop culture carries on reinforcing ideas such as “men want sex, women want romance” and “women are from Venus, men are from Mars”. Myths like these may have hurt men more than women, in terms of emotional fulfilment through sex. The truth is that both men and women want romance and sex, love and orgasms, intimacy and the occasional, straightforward, stress-relieving bonk!